I Am Lost for Words

Hi all!
Today I have no idea what to write. I guess I could harp about how disgusting obese hairy men in speedos are, but that's not very original. Or I could drone on and on about my monotonous excuse for a life. Or I could try to formulate a conspiracy theory and circulate it to reach the status of cult icon. Or I could tell you that I am going to go make tomato pancakes right now and how delicious they are and how you can't have them. But that would be lying. I think they would be gross, and as a result, I would want you to have ALL of them. I would be that selfless.

See, this is what happens when it is a slow news day. No major military offensives, no new impeachments, no high-profile celebrities in fan-dom crises. Nothing. Yahoo! has one of its top stories for today about a big snake. Wow. Scintillating. I can't wait to hear what comes next.

Oops! Let me give you a towel to wipe that dripping sarcasm off the screen.

So, I guess I am that sad; I have to have some interesting news to be interesting. I guess I am a human moon-impersonator, reflecting the light from another source. This is not to be confused with me mooning you. No, that would be completely, utterly, and in all other ways, inappropriate.

Well, I am going to euthanize you all by shutting up, so enjoy the afterlife!

Until next time...