Chavez, that scwewy wabbit!

As has been reported in the news, our friend in Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, has passed a referendum eliminating a term-limit for the presidency. He also declares that "those who voted "yes" today voted for socialism, for revolution" (Yahoo!news).

Call me paranoid, but isn't this sort of what Hitler did? The Wiemar republic, the economic crash, the enactment of the emergency dictator position, any of that ring a bell? Once he became temporary dictator, he quickly moved into dictator-for-life. What happened next is history. Cold, brutal history.

I am reminded of Calvin and Hobbes, one of my favorite comic strips growing up. There was the G.R.O.S.S. club, where Calvin was dictator for life. He and Hobbes went about terrorizing Susie. While it was all innocent childhood fun, let us pause for a moment and use this as an analogy for Hugo "The Man" Chavez.

Will his success, which he blatantly cites as a victory for socialism in the above quote, lead to fascism? It did for an economically distraught Germany. Venezuela has had its fair share of struggles, but the economy is growing under Chavez. Will they cave into nationalism and become aggressive? South America already has a reputation for social chaos. If they do become aggressive, will they turn on capitalist states like America and the European Union? This all sounds a bit extreme, in terms of drawing conclusions, but it is definitely food for thought.

In my opinion, worst case scenario: World War Four (who are we kidding, we're pretty much in World War III already) with the South American dictatorships against the North American capitalists, like a bad game of Risk.

Best case scenario: Venezuela successfully integrates socialism and the economy grows, bringing with it a better quality of life for Venezuelans.

However, despite my analysis, whether it is valid is your call, we can only wait and see what happens.

Until next time, when I bring up another one of our favorite friends, Kim Jong Il, and his stylin' hairdo...

Here's a quick appetizer...

I realized that the erstwhile link to the Mormons and Homosexuality article may have some unintended conclusions drawn to it. I put it up there strictly for the purpose of clarifying what the Church's position is, in light of the recent Prop 8 hubbub. I have since removed it, as to avoid misleading people.

Economic Stimulus Involves Religious Restrictions?

You will never believe this! Remember in all the campaign debates how we were told that earmarking would stop? Well, apparently that did not include provisos on funds in the upcoming stimulus bill.

The democrats in the House have decided that it would be prudent to bar educational institutions money for "modernization, renovation, or repair" that allow "sectarian instruction, religious worship or a school or department of divinity" (www.foxnews.com). This includes colleges and private schools. However, Republican Sen. Jim DeMint is fighting it. Hopefully with President Obama's help, this questionable clause can be removed.

Now, really, does this seem patriotic? Does anyone recall who it was that first came to America seeking safety? It was the Puritans. It was their founding Christian beliefs that laid the foundation for the society we enjoy today, whether or not people want to admit it. That's why on all currency is printed "In God We Trust."

Sure, there are myriad people who are not be Christian. You don't have to be to follow this statement. God can technically be anything you consider to be the greatest power in existence. For some, money is God. Others, family. Maybe nature, or Buddha.

Conservatives always seem to be under fire for not being open-minded or accepting, yet it seems to be those who profess to be "liberal" that do most of the public stereotyping, to be guilty of the same in this sentence.

Now this may appear to be a bit of a tangent, but it all goes to illustrate how important religion is for this country, whether it is Catholicism, Buddhism, Islam, or even Atheism. To deny a school financial assistance due to its endorsement of the First Amendment is to judge the nature of validity religion, namely to say, religion has no business being affiliated with the government. It sounds to me that if a school allowed religious instruction, etc, regardless of the integrity of the institution, that it would be deemed unfit for government aid.

Does the government distribute WICs, food stamps, and other financial aid to those in need by first screening their religious involvement, social activities, or recreational preferences? I believe not. Yet, the government gives lots of money to these people, some of which are taking advantage of the whole situation.

Schools generally tend to be positive contributors to its community and its city. Colleges are excellent resources for improving the development of a state. In my opinion, this alone warrants unrestricted availability to apply for government aid. I am not saying it should get the money, just that it should have a fair shake in the application process.

America is moving to be a place for equal opportunity employment. Why not equal opportunity government funding for institutions that can only help this country? I see this as an opportunity for the government to make amends for the previous bailout, which set a lot of people on edge, by boosting the country's educational systems.

Education creates a qualified and competent workforce. A competent workforce can lead to innovative and efficient companies. Healthy companies create more jobs. More jobs boosts the economy. How can aiding a school in improving itself ever be a negative thing, and why shouldn't schools who encourage religious practices be entitled to help? Why religion and not some other criteria?

From my viewpoint, this clause has a lot going against it, logically, politically, and socially. I hope the government agrees, or else there is going to be frustration across all demographics.

Well, this is just another Python Public Service Announcement (PPSA).

Until next time...

In Memoriam: Chris Owens

Today I received some very sad news.

Chris Owens, a good friend of mine for 10 years, was found to have taken his life this morning. I wish this evening to commemorate his life.

Chris was everything you could want in a friend. He was very bright and knew how to make you smile. I rarely saw Chris without a smile on his own face and he was always quick to share in mirth with others.

We spent hours discussing politics, society, but also ridiculous topics (which animal in the animal kingdom would win in an open arena showdown. His answer: the hippo).

His face was one of the few I knew I could count on while I was in Salt Lake City dealing with medical problems. I always felt we were kindred spirits. If nothing else, Chris was a loyal friend.

On top of his wonderful personality, he was also talented jazz pianist, guitarist, and music major. It seems like only a few days ago, and it really almost was, when I was driving him to the University 15th Student Ward at the University of Utah. He wore his stylish aviators, goatee, and leather jacket. One week, he and my cousin Mike played a beautiful piano duet arrangement of "All Creatures of Our God and King." This is what made him so memorable; humor balanced with sincerity. Passion with self-control. Strength with gentleness.

In "The Sandlot," Babe Ruth appears to one of the main characters in a dream and imparts this wisdom: Heroes may be remembered, but legends never die.

Christopher Owens was a legend in my eyes. The things we did were memorable, and though he is gone, I have a vast archive of fond memories to look back on.

I do not know the details of his tragic decision, but I pray that he finds relief to his burdens in the Lord's arms. I wish to close with the beautiful language of William Wordsworth.

"Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:

The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,

Hath had elsewhere its setting,

And cometh from afar:

Not in entire forgetfulness,

And not in utter nakedness,

But trailing clouds of glory do we come

From God, who is our home[.]"

I will miss you, Chris.

I Am Lost for Words

Hi all!
Today I have no idea what to write. I guess I could harp about how disgusting obese hairy men in speedos are, but that's not very original. Or I could drone on and on about my monotonous excuse for a life. Or I could try to formulate a conspiracy theory and circulate it to reach the status of cult icon. Or I could tell you that I am going to go make tomato pancakes right now and how delicious they are and how you can't have them. But that would be lying. I think they would be gross, and as a result, I would want you to have ALL of them. I would be that selfless.

See, this is what happens when it is a slow news day. No major military offensives, no new impeachments, no high-profile celebrities in fan-dom crises. Nothing. Yahoo! has one of its top stories for today about a big snake. Wow. Scintillating. I can't wait to hear what comes next.

Oops! Let me give you a towel to wipe that dripping sarcasm off the screen.

So, I guess I am that sad; I have to have some interesting news to be interesting. I guess I am a human moon-impersonator, reflecting the light from another source. This is not to be confused with me mooning you. No, that would be completely, utterly, and in all other ways, inappropriate.

Well, I am going to euthanize you all by shutting up, so enjoy the afterlife!

Until next time...

A Serial Criminal or Just a Politician?

Well, we all heard the news: Tom Daschle, the man who owed the IRS more than what 99.6% of the world's people make in a year (source: globalrichlist.com), has elected to step down from his political position. What a load of crap! Holy cow! He got to CHOOSE?

Pardon my incredulity, but I think that is ridiculous! When a guy who knocks over a 7-Eleven gets a prison sentence, but a politician who, in case you forgot, MAKES LAWS cheats his own government is not immediately strung up on a line and had rotten veggies thrown at him (the good ones need to go to the poorer countries) until his kidneys turned to jelly is allowed to choose what happens to his career, we know our country is in a tough spot.

Kudos to President Obama. He has really risen to his office; he may have made the nomination, but he did not condone Daschle's actions. That takes stones to admit responsibility for poor judgement, something not seen often enough among politicians.

While it is true that everyone makes mistakes, it also appears, and this is just my observation, that only some people have to be accountable. Too often do we allow crooked politicians get away with, as we all know, murder and other things. I think the reason we could never fully prosecute all the dishonest people in elected offices is because the government would more than partially dissolve.

Here comes my revolutionary segment: we need to stop electing anyone who has shown criminal behavior. Do we want criminals, convicted or not, running the country we cherish so much? Well, do we? I submit that we do not.

Now, just because it appears that government is flooded with corrupt people, it is not the case; there are many noble and honorable people in the government, but we need to enforce accountability among everyone. The same way that we do not tolerate drugs in schools or child molesters.

However, we need to start with ourselves; if we are not willing to be responsible for our own actions, how can we expect others to be the same?

Well, I am out of breath. Not really, but it is a good line to begin a conclusion.

I don't know how coherent this dissertation has been, but it has at least helped me feel better. It was not really funny, nor was it too entertaining, unless you like hearing me rant and rave like a doomsday prophet.

Well, thankfully, our time has come to an end, like a spool of thread on an ugly sweater that, since unfinished, will never have to be worn in public and can be summarily incinerated.

Until next time...

I feel like a dirtbag...

Okay, so to mention the patheticity of my life (I think I just invented a word, though it is lexicographically (another word I made?) sound), I must mention that I feel like a jerk for not having fed the masses yesterday with pearls of my voluminous wisdom.

I'll ammend that with this next blog!

It's time to say, readers, "never again!"

Moo! Moo! Woof! Don't follow the herd!

Today I wish to discuss, or I guess more correctly: monologue, about a raging phenomenon that has reached pandemic levels: internet uploads.

This alarming trend of posting anything and everything on the web for the whole world to see threatens to leave individuals open for predators and conmen, public humiliation, and also presents a rather amusing contradiction in American ideology.

Firstly, I will bring up social network tools, like facebook, myspace, etc. They are brilliant innovations that have probably strengthened millions of friendships and started thousands more. However, it also strips you of your privacy. Sometimes, it is you through your own actions, sometimes it is "friends" of yours posting stuff you wish had been forgotten.

I read an article not too long ago about how often companies and HR employees use facebook and the like to find out more about job applicants, and how damaging some material can be to prospective employees. I personally did a thoughtful double check on the kinds of things I had online, whether it was photos I put up, political affiliations, interests listed, and other options. I deduced that I had nothing that I wouldn't want a potential manager or boss seeing, if not my parents.

The second thing that I had to look up was what other people had posted about me. I am not a wild person, unless you count a musical obsession with Billy Joel, so I didn't have too much to worry about. However, I know there are people out there, some that I think I know, who have pictures of them when they are absolutely plowed, high, or doing something astoundingly stupid. I can't see how I wouldn't be embarrassed if I had pictures like that on my site. I would not want the world to have access to any poor lifestyle choices I had made, nor would I want vulgar postings from my friends, nor probably, would I even want to be reminded of stupid things I had done.

Now, I'll move on to a more entertaining aspect of the internet posting craze, and I'll give it the auspicious title of the Patriot Act Paradox. Remember how incensed people got when the Patriot Act passed all those years ago? Remember how everyone got paranoid about Big Brother after reading 1984? Remember how quick we are to defend our personal liberties?

If we were so adamant about privacy, why do we not hesitate to post stuff? Big Brother doesn't have to tap ANYTHING anymore! They can just google us, check our facebook profile, or youtube videos in the public domain to find out our entire life story, political connections, car make and model, and our toothbrush color!

Also, half the time on facebook, people post shoddy-looking photos of themselves, usually shot at a downward angle, tilted sideways, color-washed, and cropped to closely. I think we all know the look.

So PLEASE! For the love of everything good and holy in this world, don't be a posting addict, don't embarrass your friends (if you do, you'll see how soon you stay on their list when they see what you put up), don't put up a fuss about privacy until you keep your own, and especially, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't take "myspace shots." No one will take you seriously.

It just looks kinda dumb. Sorry, but it does.

Until next time, when I can come up with something a bit more sophisticated to satire...

The 20! The 10! TOUCHDOWN!

It's everyone's favorite time again! Super Bowl Sunday! Woohoo! Personally, this is a time of deep emotion and reflection; primarily in relation to why my team, the Philly Eagles, aren't in the play-offs. This happens almost every year.

Super Bowl Sunday also gives me another reason to feel like a dirtbag and un-American; I don't have access to a live broadcast. Additionally, I rarely have access to a computer to watch a live update! Living in China does have its drawbacks.

It takes place on a Monday for us over here, and that usually means I am in class. Unless you have been there, you don't know the anguish of knowing that somewhere far away there are 300 lb human freight trains knocking the crap out of each other. It is unimaginable agony. It is akin to hearing that your grandmother is lying in the middle of the Saharan desert with her fingers in Chinese handcuffs.

Beyond missing the football action, the other big hit that I take (pun not intended), is missing out on the commercials. I don't get to see the multi-million dollar 15-second blips of capitalist wonder at its finest. Instead, I have to remember to look them up online and wait for eight hours for them to buffer before I can enjoy the shorts. That's what really frosts my shorts.

Well, again our time has come to bid farewell, not unlike a sock bids farewell to its mate as it enters the washing machine. May we all return next time, cleaner, and hopefully with no new holes.

Until next time...