25 to Life, just 3 payments of $19.99!

A little while ago, I was reading the paper in Salt Lake City and there was an article about the government trying to make cuts in correctional facilities spending. It was reported they were going to accomplish this by reducing the number of convicts who had to report to parole officers, and change the sentence severity of what could be considered to be "minor" crimes. Doing this would give something like 17,000 criminals more leniency.

I was floored, to say the least, and immediately began brainstorming alternative methods to cut back costs. One way, inspired by a sketch from "A Bit of Fry and Laurie," would be to privatize the system. We already do it with military tech development and diplomatic security, why not have companies bid for contracts to enforce the U.S. penal codes? Adam Smith would suggest that doing so would show everyone how to most effectively punish criminals.

It would completely erase the smaller overhead costs of running a prison, plus it would make life much more miserable for the people who are being punished for making the rest of us miserable. Criminals foreited their liberties when they infringed upon ours. It may seem harsh, but they deserve no better treatment than the men and women voluntarily serving our nation overseas in the Armed Forces. We could feed the convicts K-rations, have them do laborous tasks in hot environments, and in doing so, they would learn marketable skills to help them actually contribute to society.

Oh, and the legal fees and other administrative costs would also have to be paid for by the criminal.

Of course, all this would come at a cost, though not for the regular tax payer. The criminals would have to pay for the time they spent in prison, through their work, that other companies could contract out to the prison companies. The different jobs would also pay at different rates, so if a convict spends more time doing a more skilled job, he/she would be able to put money in the bank for when they are out, to start a new life. If a criminal was not able to pay his/her confinement fees, they would be indentured servants to the prison corporation until they could square their fees.

All of this would allow America to reflect upon the justice system, its efficacy, and how we really regard those who infringe upon rights of law-abiding citizens, which in my opinion is out-of-whack. Maybe then crime rates would drop and people would learn that crime really doesn't pay.

Sorry this one wasn't as funny, but I do hope it was insightful. Hopefully someone somewhere will take this idea and run for it.

Until next time...